Where has all the inspiration gone?

I don't know about anyone else, but Ive lost a small part of me...or at least i thought i had. Over the last seven months or so my life has taken a few leaps and bounds. Some bad, some horrible, a few beyond fantastic and a slap in the face just to wrap things up. 


At the beginning of this whirlwind, i felt inspired to leap across rivers and caverns (artistically speaking). I felt like i was finally secure in my artistic talent. I felt proud to call my self an artist and thought i had untapped a hidden river of passion for my crazy version of doodling and obsession with trees.   


Life settled down and i swore to myself i wouldn't loose my alter ego of artistic feistyness. Ive realized over the last month, i did just that. Where did it go? Did i leave it in the pocket of my favorite jeans and wash it like so many receipts of things that have to be returned to target? Did i simply hide it in one of my beloved trees, forgotten and safe? 


Things were supposed to be different, the green of spring was finally here. I should be inspired beyond all belief. I wasn't, and began to panic. Not a crazy, rip the house apart kind of panic...but a maybe I'm not who i thought i was kind of panic. Which was depressing, i really liked the feisty version of me.


Then something happened today. At first it was nothing. Just a pause at my mailbox. Looking at the dense lush forest that lined my street. A simple word lingered in my brain. hope. And inspiration was mine again. A few other things happened that gave me the courage to connect the dots, but here i am all the same. The wonderful thing about being inspired, is when you finally are, the source is sometimes obvious. 

So what do i want to know from you? What inspires you when your talent is lost, forgotten, washed in a pair of jeans? Do you panic, do you take deep breaths and retrace your steps. Do you work on something else that needs to be done, like laundry? 

a twist on me

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I love alaska in the springtime

If your like me, you're singing the song from French Kiss...."I love Paris in the springtime". Unfortunately I don't know the rest of the song. :)


For anyone not familiar with Alaska, we are beginning spring...almost. The sun is getting warmer (a scorching 45), the snow is melting and the trees are beginning to grow tiny little buds! It is extremely exciting.


Not only is it my favorite time of year because by this point I am beyond sick of snow. But also because it is my favorite time to paint. I am almost giddy at the thought of sitting outside in the warm sun (about 65) and sketching or painting. For me there is no better time to be creative than watching mother nature explode around me. And Oh Yes, she will explode. Right now the trees have hardly any buds, but one day very VERY soon, I will look out my window and everything will be green and glorious. 


I will be able to wear sandals and skirts and attempt for my skin to be its normal olive skin tone and not the pasty translucent color it is most of the year. 


I love spring! What is your favorite time of year? And do you find its easier to create something when your surroundings inspire you?

The joy of a really good panic attack

And yes that was complete and total sarcasm. Why the panic attack you ask? In one week I will be in a new town trying to make new friends and starting a new life. I fear I'm getting too old for this. Sigh, but complaining about the enevidable is like complaining about your shoe size...nothing can be done about it. So instead of whining like a wuss, I will make a list of my panics and the pros. Kinda like a two sided version of David lettermans top ten 1. Panic- moving away from all my very wonderful friends. Pro- moving away from all the people who annoy the crap out of me 2. Panic- moving away from all the happy little things like target and taco bell Pro- save money and just maybe loose a few pounds 3. Panic-moving out of my large house and downsizing everything! Pro-smaller house means less to clean and there fore less crap to fumble over and misplace 4. Panic- small town...I mean small! Pro- save on gas 5. I don't really have a panic for this one. A co-op art store that I plan on stalking and hanging lots and lots of my happy art 6. Panic- I can no longer use Jolene Perry as my own personal spur of the moment library when I want Pro- I get to use her like a real library and pick up a load of books a month at a time 7. BIG PANIC- way MORE stupid stupid snow! We are talking like eight feet of snow. A maze of snow that winds through the streets....THAT KIND OF SNOW! Pro- it's wet snow, so you can actually make snowman, unlike here. We have cold hard snow. And it doesn't get as cold down there. 8. Panic-I'm saying goodbye to the beautiful matsu mountains Wich I adore. Pro- I'm saying hello to the ocean, Wich I am simply in love with. Maybe I can even get a look at some whales swimming by. Darn it! I've run out of material :) I'll keep everyone posted on my upcoming adventures. When was the last time you had a panic attack? Reasonable or not.

Goals?

My very good friend and fantastic author, Jolene Perry, just did a blog on goals and how they are constantly changing. Seemed like a great idea for a post since I've been drawing a blank since my debut. HA! DRAWING, So I started thinking about my goals...what are they, how many do I have, are they different from this time a week ago, a month ago...a year ago? OFCOURSE they are! My current goal is to wear my awesome heels I've had since December without getting snow in them! A bit shallow, I know. So let's take a crack at them: 1. Start running more...anything at this point would be more 2. Finish the awesome scrap quilt I've started out of designer fabric 3. Successfully move to valdez without a panic attack 4. Sell a painting, greeting card, doodle..anything really, so I can truly live in the happy category of paid artist 5. (and this one never changes) have a wonderful life full of happiness and love So what are your goals? Do they change? Are the shallow like my fantastic shoe goal or are they deep and well thought out? And when you have your list, let's say your lucky enouph to check something off....how does it feel? Sometimes I'm a little sad after checking off a goal, especially if it was a fun process. Like a painting that was delicious from the first moment the idea came to me. My imagination and brush working in complete harmony and the colors so rich and deep you want to lick them. h

Paid Artist or Not

Being an artist is the easy part. Being a paid artist is where it becomes difficult. I have yet to become one...or have I. One of my very best friends has a happy little Heather Hubb art corner in her kitchen. She says I can sell any of them at any time (and I wouldnt dare) except one. Sunflower Americana sits in her kitchen, above her cookbooks. The colors are perfect! It truly belongs there, almost like its been there since her house was built and not the year since I've painted it. Today she forced money on me....and yes forced is the correct word. So what am I complaining about. Technically I've acquired my goal. Here's the dilema: the painting was always hers and I never expected money. OFCOURSE I'm grateful and eager to step into the paid artist category but did I really earn it. Is it the same as a stranger coming across something I've done,after looking at all the amazing artist that inhabit this website and saying "I must have it!"? Or am I just being ridiculous? Probably. In truth I'm probably going to spend the money taking us to taco bell...several times.

Neurosis

My very good friend and talented author, Jolene Perry has decided to interview me on her blog. She kindly sent over the list of questions ahead of time so i could attempt to be witty and creative with my answers;) One of her questions was "what neurosis do you share with you fellow artist?" I have yet to come up with an answer. First of all, I hate to admit it, but i had to look up the word. I knew what it meant, but I wanted to make sure. I defiantly didn't want to give a confident well thought out answer and have it be completely and totally wrong...which is normally how i put my foot in my mouth. Second of all...I don't know any other artist so i don't know if i share anything other than the madness to doodle on everything or constantly keep my mind thinking of new ways to create. So tell me, fellow artist: What are your neurosis? Do we have any of them in common? Id like to think I'm extra quirky and eccentric...how society seems to picture artist. But I'm pretty sure I'm not. Im just an average mom, sitting in a coffee shop, chugging back coco....or am i?