the "BIG CANVAS" me

Ive done something. I painted BIG! I normally paint on a smaller scale. 12x12 is my comfort size. Or if I'm feeling really adventurous I go for the 12x36. This canvas Ive had for almost a year. Just sitting with my art supplies, waiting patiently. Waiting for the bravery needed to make my first stroke. Waiting for me to step outside my self and do something on a larger scale. Something that was buried in me, waiting to escape. 

You'd be surprised how intimidating it is to look at a large canvas and try to imagine how you'd fill the space. Not only because these suckers are pricey, but because they should be something outstanding. Something that moves you. I wanted it to be special. I wanted to feel something when i looked at it, even though i wasn't sure what i wanted to feel. 

At first the sky was completely different. More purples and blues, no yellows. It was okay, nothing out standing. And then, one morning I was driving to work. It wasn't a normal morning.  It was a -20 freezing my hands to the car door kind of cold because I'm too stubborn to dig my gloves out of my pockets kind of morning! And the sky was the most amazing transition between the golden sun rising and the dark night sky leaving. A warm kiss of color in the frozen air. It had to be captured. It had to be painted. And I was going to be the one to try and do it.

 Ive done a large canvas before, and it turned out horrible. I was trying to fill the space and my proportions were off. And after a while of looking at it, I just kinda lost my motivation and inspiration.  Or maybe I just wasn't feeling what I needed to feel to make it worth my time, the canvas and the paint. I most definitely felt this.



So what makes painting "BIG" so unnerving? I think its because on a small canvas, you only get to see a small slice of me. You get to see a 12x12 piece of art that can only hold so much. The flaws are tiny, maybe even unnoticeable.  It will only hold what i deem worthy in a small space. What I want you to see. And honestly lack of skill looks better when its done so very small.

But when I am brave enough to paint BIG, I let you see more of me. I'm choosing to fill the space. I'm choosing to be out there. I'm choosing to be BIG, to let you examine my flaws. I'm being the painter who is trapped deep within me dying to get out. I am owning who I am. I am no longer a girl who has a hobby of painting. I am a painter! I create art! I breath life into paint and canvas with the images I see behind my brown eyes.

Or maybe, its just a canvas and it has nothing to do with me as a person. Nothing to do with fears or passion and everything to do with a brush, some paint and a bit of talent or even luck.

 And now that Ive gone BIG once, I'm dying to do it again. I cant wait till the frozen north makes me dig deep and pull out something massive, explosive and vibrant.

Here's to being BIG, to owning who you are and breathing life into your ideas. My name is Heather Hubb and I am an Artist!