the "BIG CANVAS" me

Ive done something. I painted BIG! I normally paint on a smaller scale. 12x12 is my comfort size. Or if I'm feeling really adventurous I go for the 12x36. This canvas Ive had for almost a year. Just sitting with my art supplies, waiting patiently. Waiting for the bravery needed to make my first stroke. Waiting for me to step outside my self and do something on a larger scale. Something that was buried in me, waiting to escape. 

You'd be surprised how intimidating it is to look at a large canvas and try to imagine how you'd fill the space. Not only because these suckers are pricey, but because they should be something outstanding. Something that moves you. I wanted it to be special. I wanted to feel something when i looked at it, even though i wasn't sure what i wanted to feel. 

At first the sky was completely different. More purples and blues, no yellows. It was okay, nothing out standing. And then, one morning I was driving to work. It wasn't a normal morning.  It was a -20 freezing my hands to the car door kind of cold because I'm too stubborn to dig my gloves out of my pockets kind of morning! And the sky was the most amazing transition between the golden sun rising and the dark night sky leaving. A warm kiss of color in the frozen air. It had to be captured. It had to be painted. And I was going to be the one to try and do it.

 Ive done a large canvas before, and it turned out horrible. I was trying to fill the space and my proportions were off. And after a while of looking at it, I just kinda lost my motivation and inspiration.  Or maybe I just wasn't feeling what I needed to feel to make it worth my time, the canvas and the paint. I most definitely felt this.



So what makes painting "BIG" so unnerving? I think its because on a small canvas, you only get to see a small slice of me. You get to see a 12x12 piece of art that can only hold so much. The flaws are tiny, maybe even unnoticeable.  It will only hold what i deem worthy in a small space. What I want you to see. And honestly lack of skill looks better when its done so very small.

But when I am brave enough to paint BIG, I let you see more of me. I'm choosing to fill the space. I'm choosing to be out there. I'm choosing to be BIG, to let you examine my flaws. I'm being the painter who is trapped deep within me dying to get out. I am owning who I am. I am no longer a girl who has a hobby of painting. I am a painter! I create art! I breath life into paint and canvas with the images I see behind my brown eyes.

Or maybe, its just a canvas and it has nothing to do with me as a person. Nothing to do with fears or passion and everything to do with a brush, some paint and a bit of talent or even luck.

 And now that Ive gone BIG once, I'm dying to do it again. I cant wait till the frozen north makes me dig deep and pull out something massive, explosive and vibrant.

Here's to being BIG, to owning who you are and breathing life into your ideas. My name is Heather Hubb and I am an Artist!

Running away to the Circus

I love to read. It is absolutely one of my favorite things to do. And as I read, I normally find something that inspires me. No matter if its a line, word, idea or even the cover.This weeks inspiring read is the Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

Look how lovely this cover is! How can you not want to create something, ANYTHING, from this

At first, I checked the book out from the library. I actually got half way through it before I had to go out and buy my very own.

Why did i have to buy my own? Why couldn't i just read the borrowed one and save myself fifteen dollars? Because I have gotten into the delightful and yet destructive habit of marking up my books. It started with highlighting my favorite parts in "The sky is everywhere". Now, Ive crossed over to  doodling in the margins, and even drawing a picture on half a page. I'm sure there are librarians somewhere who feel chills running down their spines with every mark i make.  I doodle ideas for painting, things that i imagine. Things that make me smile and that, to me, make perfect sense.

Ideas, descriptions, feelings, impressions. They are all in my doodling file to refer to at a later date.

So what was it about this book that got my creative juices flowing? It started off with a book and a tree. That's normally all it takes for me to be hooked. But the story is about these two people who become bonded before they even know each other. When, they are just children. And he knows who she is before she knows who he is. Am I making sense? Probably not.

One of my favorite parts where Marco is holding a design that Celia has made. All he knows is that she has done it. He can feel her on the pages and is a bit irritated and in awe that he could never capture the tree as beautifully as she did. That's the part when I bought the book. That's the part where I fell in love with the Night Circus.

The feelings of need and desire that come off of the pages are intoxicating. Even though these two people spend very little time together through out the book, its simple things that make their need for each other so mesmerizing. And you wish for more pages of them together. But then the book wouldn't have that feel to it.

Another one of these lovely tid bits of awesomeness is when Marco walks across a crowded party, grabs Celia and kisses her. The whole party stops and looks. He walks away and makes everyone forget except for her. It makes you want to be Celia. It makes you want the kind of love that you can feel in your toes. The kind of love that is fueled by destiny and passion and honestly a little bit of insanity. And don't we all want someone to love us insanely?

So, of course now I'm inspired. Not just inspired to paint something in the color scheme of the book, but inspired to find my own Night Circus. To run away and wear amazing gowns in black and white. To wonder through rooms that are made of clouds, ice and sand. To be bound to someone who can feel me in the things I create. Insert deep sigh here.

Here's to insanity, love and a circus that is only open at night. Create something beautiful today

My Red Balloon

I poured my love into a red balloon

To keep it safe and sound

I released it to the wind

And watched it float away

My heart was safer

Lost, than found

Then here to be punished with me each day.

 I moved about my life

Dealing with my troubles without strife

I began to wander

And what did I find,

My love never left, but became bound

What to expect when you're ordinary

Here's the thing, I'm ordinary. I'm totally okay with it.  My practical goal in life is to:

 live a long happy life

 never commit a crime or do time in jail

raise good kids

have a couple of grand kids

 be the ultimate grandma

 never be a fat old lady

feel loved and love

go on vacation (when you live in Alaska, its a goal)

and to never stop creating

Ive never been one for seeking out adventure. I wish I was but I'm not. Id love to be the kind of person who picked up random sports just because. But seriously, I'm kinda accident prone.

My determination and drive in life is low. Who has time to be uber productive. I'M still trying to finish folding laundry from two weeks ago.

And to look at me, I'm average in every way. Again, totally okay with it.

So whats the point of this blog? MY EXTRAORDINARY GOAL!

Some time last summer, i was in Safeway with a friend. I hate Safeway but that's another story that's really not that exciting. Behind us was someone I wanted to be.  Now, I don't know if anyone else does this. Your someplace and someone walks by and you think to yourself "man, id love to be that person in ten years". Well I do. Only a few people have managed to receive the honor of the future me. Even though I'm ordinary, I totally ROCK!

So what did she look like? I know your on pins and needles waiting with baited breath.

She was older, a bit taller. She had short brown hair. Way shorter than id ever wear mine. Earrings up both sides of her ears, but no pairs, just total randomness. She was tan, but it was natural, like she had been out in her garden, or maybe in a cottage by the ocean. She wore funky linen pants and a t shirt with a comfy sweater and leather sandals. Tattoos on her wrist and a mix of bracelets, leather and metal. She even had a couple of chunky rings. She looked completely and totally at ease. She was who she was meant to be. What makes her so special? Why do i want to be her? She fits into the me I secretly want to be. She fits into my retirement dream.

I don't know if i could actually call it a dream.  Maybe an idea or a mirage would work better. I want something that feels out of my grasp. Like saying you want a different shoe size. It cant happen.

Of course, I could start dressing like that ( I kinda do, but not as cool). Get my ears pierced alot and buy mismatched earrings. But that image is only a small part of this mirage.

In the bigger picture, my secret me lives someplace totally awesome. I want a wear house, firehouse, old church, or school. I want to renovate it with polished cement floors and colorful rugs. Knock down walls, and open it up. I want lots and lots windows that face some kind of water. Lake, river, ocean, stream. Don't care, it just needs water.  I want exposed bricks and a dum waiter. I want my favorite pieces of art on the wall. An old table with mismatched stained chairs, the smell of freshly baked cookies wafting out of my open kitchen (okay, that part isn't that hard). I see warmth and love and easiness. Red appliances. Maybe a chalkboard covered fridge. And i have to have an old time phone booth. What I'm going to do with it, I couldn't tell you. I just want one.  And the most important part is my room. In the back somewhere, surrounded by windows is the room where i create.

It will be a room that is completely white. Floor to ceiling. It will have a sink that I don't care about staining. And furniture that will be covered in paint splatters. Because I'm a messy painter. I will have a special place for all by brushes and paints. A book shelf for my sketchbooks and swipe files.  I will have canvas's lined up against a wall and covered with a drop cloth (because i cant get paint on them if they are waiting patiently to be used). Ill have my potters wheel in a corner. And I will have a door that leads out onto the balcony where I can paint in the sun and smell the air. Where I can feel the water and loose myself in the me that I truly long to be.

Of course, it could happen one day. I'm only 34. But right now, extraordinary will have to wait. The ordinary is here to stay for a while. But its nice to close my eyes and taste the salt air.

Here's to renovated buildings, tattoos and imagining the secret you. Here's to the future

I wish...

Okay, I hate complaining. I find it absolutely a waste of time and energy. Of course there is a proper way to complain. With a friend, over taco bell and in a matter where you use the word stupid ALOT, and its mainly for venting and fun. I cant stand it when people complain in forums like Face Book and blogs.  And, as a rule, I try to stay away from blogs that do it. But get ready. I'm about to break my own rule. 

This month, This stupid stupid month has me full of irritation that I just cant seem to shake. For starters, my norhtern lights painting looks like my four year old did it. Ive used so much paint to repeatedly cover the canvas, that the canvas is now misshapen. That sucker was expensive! 

I have a paint play list filled with songs that give me inspiration by the way they make me feel with their fantastic lyrics. I love every song on there. Sometimes I cant even listen to a song because the feeling is too strong. Almost a year ago, I knew the feelings and could see every single painting to go with them. My feelings have become so much of a part of me, that I cant even separate them any more. Does that even make sense? They are messy, jumbled. Sometimes they don't even feel like real feelings. They aren't crisp, more numb,  and that is irritating in its own way. 

All my paintings, seem to be happy. Bright colors that smear and swirl in a way that makes you feel the breeze. At least it does for me. Just once I wish I could paint the despair that lingers within me. Listen to those songs and soak myself in the loveliness of the written word and create something...messy. How life truly seems to be. At least for me. I want to look at a canvas, put on all the songs that make me feel everything deep within my gut, and loose myself. No thought about it, no plan. Just the canvas, me and my large brush. 

Ive always been into art. But i remember when the movie "Benny and Joon" came out. I remember watching that movie and knowing right then I wanted to paint. I watched Joon paint with the brush, and her hands, in her nightgown... She was a mess and absolutely lovely. Yes, I know she has mental problems and that is the main part of the movie. But don't we all have mental problems to some degree. Heart ache that makes us take a vacation within our own minds? Maybe that's why when I paint, I paint like Joon. I don't care what I'm wearing or if I have paint on my table... and I defiantly do. I just want to loose myself. But to do it with no plan, to have you hands in the paint and mix the colors on the canvas in large violent thick streaks of disaster and have it WORK! Lovely, absolutely lovely. 

Maybe I'm too guarded, too careful. But to be like Joon, and abandon yourself (with Jonny Depp) would be wonderful. Of course, my problems are good enough. I don't care to be as broken as Joon. 

So here is to taco bell, and calling things stupid, and great friends that listen to you rant, and true love with Jonny Depp and making grilled cheese sandwiches with an iron! Here is to all things wonderful in our lives, broken or not.

the problem with me....

Okay, so I don't really have one problem per say. Honestly I have loads of them. But lets try and focus on one for now.

Recently I took in all my new lovelies into Wasilla to a local boutique called Cherie's Closet. I was supposed to be the artist of the month for December. Being that I now live 6 hours from Wasilla, I had to take them in sooner than later. Six hour drive through snow, negative temps and crazy moose is not my idea of a fun road trip. So we get there and I'm informed that the owner will keep them up till January. .... for three months!! Amazing i know! (this is not the problem)

So far I've sold two!! Double amazing (still not the problem)

Cherie (the wonderful and amazing owner) called me the other day and wanted to know if I had any more stuff I could send down. (not really a problem) No i didn't have anything, but I could. Granted, after my two week painting marathon i was ready for a break. But if my stuff was in demand, I would gladly do more. Right?

Naturally, I'm a fast painter. I don't normally have patience to wait for the  paint to dry if I'm extremely inspired and feeling it. Plus, I'm a mom. Finding any time to do anything I want is limited. I felt extremely guilty about painting so much while i was trying to meet this deadline. My poor children. Many times they had paint spattered across their homework. Sorry kids :)  This still isn't "the" problem.

I began thinking of what to do next. My son has been bugging me to do something with the northern lights. I didn't want to because it was so" Alaskan artist".  Does that even make sense? I guess the word I'm looking for is "cliche". But i have an idea how to do it with this new style that I'm so crazy about. So whats the problem? Here it is. And its not a huge problem, as far as problems goes.  Just the one that currently has me trying not to break canvas.

I can see it in my head. I know how i want it to look and i know how to make it look that way. But its not working! And Ive used a very large tube of black paint to cover up my canvas....Ive covered it up about 4 times. Its driving me CRAZY! And of course if i took some art classes, it might solve my problem. But i don't  work that way.  I don't take art classes for the simple fact that i like to do things my own way and enjoy the process of just doing it. Its fun and relaxing. I love to put my paint playlist on and tune out everything except for the painting. I love the zen moment when i dont even think about it, and I create something amazing. There is no better feeling than stepping back from your painting and saying: "WoW, I did that!"

 So the stinking northern lights have me stumped. Its the kind of problem that has me awake at 4 a.m. going over the process in my head. What colors Id use first, the brush strokes, the patterns. Even the trees, I ponder over. And then I sit down and start. And after a few minutes im whipping out the balck paint and covering it up. So today, I purchased a XL jar of black paint. A girl has to be prepared, right?  I'm going to try it again. But this time try and slow down. One piece at a time, with a day in between... yeah right!  Lets see if that works.

Did i even explain a problem? Yes, I guess I did. I'm impatient and driving myself crazy with what I can do and what I don't do.... and i think what i should do. Hopefully in a few days, Ill have a new painting for you guys.

Until then, create something beatiful!

The long months in Fairbanks

I KNOW I KNOW! I havent written a thing in months. IVE BEEN A HORRIBLE BLOGGER! Really how good was i anywase? 

Life has been crazy. Moving..again. Unpacking... again. Finding time to do anything...again. It doesnt help matters that I work now. Yep! Seven fun filled hours a day where i process orders and if im lucky i get to read a book and maybe do a little doodling. All these years, ive been excited to work out side the home and get paid!! I dont know why. Now that im doing it, i feel, well ripped off!

The first few weeks in the office,I had sketch books and colored pencils spread across my desk. If someone walked in, it wasnt a pleasent sight. I had to scrabmle to clear my mess. And then we became busier and the desire to create became smaller and smaller. 

 My creative side hit a bigger slump by the time I staggered through my front door, work time magically turned into homework and dinner time. And exercise time... dont even ask.

Its a very sad truth that i wouldnt have created a thing, if it wasnt for a showing in a local store in wasilla, that i sighned up for months ago, that i began to paint again. (yes, that was a huge run on sentence.) 

So I began flipping through my sketch books and my swipe files looking for new ideas... and i found one. And gave it a shot. 

 This is what came of it. I thought it was awesome. And I wanted to try it again. So I did!

And again

And then I was on a roll as I began doing something all new. I love it when that happens:) I absolutely adore stumbling onto something fantastic that you didnt even know was out there. Life is amazing when it gives you something fantastic that you didnt see coming. 

I think this one is my favorite. 

I will have all of these on fineartamerica.com as soon as I sighn them and take decent photos. And lets not forget naming them. After all, a real artist names her work, right? ;) I will have atleast five more to add to these.

Untill then, create something beautiful today.

my newest hobby

Painting is now and will forever be my first love. I simply adore painting. But lately I've found a new art form to keep me busy. 

It began with a pretty camera to take photos of my paintings. Then spring came and I started hiking. So naturally I began taking some photos of trees for reference. You know, angles, bark, lighting that kind of thing. And then i started to notice little things. Things that were interesting. Things that i wanted to share. 

Now its a challenge to look harder for the amazing things mother nature has to offer. 
Sometimes its easy, and sometimes .... a lot of times actually, a bit frustrating.

 But defiantly rewarding when i can find something beautiful. Ive seen a few spectacular photos. They seem to capture life, light, motion and emotion. A piece of nature frozen to look upon forever. How lucky and inspired one must be, to be in the right place at the right time. 

My life seems to be filled with adventure. At least that's what i like to call the lovely little things life likes to give me... adventures. This weekend I'm off to Fairbanks. Trust me I'm cringing. It seems my latest adventure requires a move there. I never made it to Valdez and I'm thrilled. But it seems a move in my life is unavoidable. (right now your asking yourself: is there a point to this?) There is! I will be going to the midnight sun festival where i will be surrounded by art of all kinds. At least that's what I'm told. So hopefully, i will have captured something amazing, something inspiring, something worth an amazing blog;) 
I have high hopes for this city I'm about to call home, for my new hobby, and for getting better at the whole blog thing. Because honestly, i can't keep rambling forever. 

Writers ROCK!

Im not a writer, not even a little bit. I cant even manage to write my true feelings in a journal, let alone for other people to read. Writers, real writers (and thats anyone other than me) amaze me.

Alot of my paintings stem from songs. I love songs. I love how someone, put their feelings into words. Painted a picture of their heart without even picking up a brush. Whether its a song, book, letter, greeting card im always amazed by the stringing of words like pearls on a necklace. The imagery is sometimes so powerful that i cant help but be inspired. 

One of my absolute favorite mental images comes from Sarah Jarosz. Its called Run Away. If you haven't given it a listen, i strongly suggest you do. The line that truly gets me is "I buried my heart in a willow tree, you came along and gave it back to me." Love Love Love!!!!


Nora Jones is another favorite of mine. The Painter Song and Come Away With Me are two other songs my brain is determined to come up with an image that does them justice. Needless to say, im in love with painting from songs. 


And then there are books. Lovely lovely books. I have a fantastic friend, Jolene b. Perry that writes uber fun ya books. I dont know how she does it. I have no idea how she can take a thought and turn it into an actual story with a plot and people that you adore just by being inside their head. 


One of my favorite books for imagery is The Sky is Everywhere by Jandy Nelson. In this book, a young girl deals with the grief of loosing her older sister by writing poems and leaving them all over town. I promise its not a downer like it sounds. Just deeply moving. It has wonderful characters that leave you smiling. My favorite passage from this one: 

"Grief is a house where the chairs have forgotten how to hold usthe mirrors how to reflect usthe walls how to contain usGrief is a house that dissapearseach time someone knocks at the dooror rings the bella house that blows into the airat the slightest gustthat buries itself deep in the groundwhile everyone is sleepingGrief is a house where no one can protect youwhere the younger sisterwill grow older than the older onewhere the doorsno longer let you inor out"

OH MY! I can already see the picture id paint. My mind spins in circles trying to figure out how id get the effects i want to portray. What an amazing poem! How many times have we lost a loved one or had  life change us so dramatically  to find our grief ready to consume us? I have more times then I'm willing to admit.

So my question today: What words move you?

Where has all the inspiration gone?

I don't know about anyone else, but Ive lost a small part of me...or at least i thought i had. Over the last seven months or so my life has taken a few leaps and bounds. Some bad, some horrible, a few beyond fantastic and a slap in the face just to wrap things up. 


At the beginning of this whirlwind, i felt inspired to leap across rivers and caverns (artistically speaking). I felt like i was finally secure in my artistic talent. I felt proud to call my self an artist and thought i had untapped a hidden river of passion for my crazy version of doodling and obsession with trees.   


Life settled down and i swore to myself i wouldn't loose my alter ego of artistic feistyness. Ive realized over the last month, i did just that. Where did it go? Did i leave it in the pocket of my favorite jeans and wash it like so many receipts of things that have to be returned to target? Did i simply hide it in one of my beloved trees, forgotten and safe? 


Things were supposed to be different, the green of spring was finally here. I should be inspired beyond all belief. I wasn't, and began to panic. Not a crazy, rip the house apart kind of panic...but a maybe I'm not who i thought i was kind of panic. Which was depressing, i really liked the feisty version of me.


Then something happened today. At first it was nothing. Just a pause at my mailbox. Looking at the dense lush forest that lined my street. A simple word lingered in my brain. hope. And inspiration was mine again. A few other things happened that gave me the courage to connect the dots, but here i am all the same. The wonderful thing about being inspired, is when you finally are, the source is sometimes obvious. 

So what do i want to know from you? What inspires you when your talent is lost, forgotten, washed in a pair of jeans? Do you panic, do you take deep breaths and retrace your steps. Do you work on something else that needs to be done, like laundry? 

a twist on me

I HAVE NEW CRAZY FUN ART ON FINEARTAMERICA.COM

CHECK IT OUT, ITS A NEW TWIST TO ALL MY OLD PAINTINGS.

AND I PROMISE, NEW PAINTINGS COMING SOON

I love alaska in the springtime

If your like me, you're singing the song from French Kiss...."I love Paris in the springtime". Unfortunately I don't know the rest of the song. :)


For anyone not familiar with Alaska, we are beginning spring...almost. The sun is getting warmer (a scorching 45), the snow is melting and the trees are beginning to grow tiny little buds! It is extremely exciting.


Not only is it my favorite time of year because by this point I am beyond sick of snow. But also because it is my favorite time to paint. I am almost giddy at the thought of sitting outside in the warm sun (about 65) and sketching or painting. For me there is no better time to be creative than watching mother nature explode around me. And Oh Yes, she will explode. Right now the trees have hardly any buds, but one day very VERY soon, I will look out my window and everything will be green and glorious. 


I will be able to wear sandals and skirts and attempt for my skin to be its normal olive skin tone and not the pasty translucent color it is most of the year. 


I love spring! What is your favorite time of year? And do you find its easier to create something when your surroundings inspire you?

The joy of a really good panic attack

And yes that was complete and total sarcasm. Why the panic attack you ask? In one week I will be in a new town trying to make new friends and starting a new life. I fear I'm getting too old for this. Sigh, but complaining about the enevidable is like complaining about your shoe size...nothing can be done about it. So instead of whining like a wuss, I will make a list of my panics and the pros. Kinda like a two sided version of David lettermans top ten 1. Panic- moving away from all my very wonderful friends. Pro- moving away from all the people who annoy the crap out of me 2. Panic- moving away from all the happy little things like target and taco bell Pro- save money and just maybe loose a few pounds 3. Panic-moving out of my large house and downsizing everything! Pro-smaller house means less to clean and there fore less crap to fumble over and misplace 4. Panic- small town...I mean small! Pro- save on gas 5. I don't really have a panic for this one. A co-op art store that I plan on stalking and hanging lots and lots of my happy art 6. Panic- I can no longer use Jolene Perry as my own personal spur of the moment library when I want Pro- I get to use her like a real library and pick up a load of books a month at a time 7. BIG PANIC- way MORE stupid stupid snow! We are talking like eight feet of snow. A maze of snow that winds through the streets....THAT KIND OF SNOW! Pro- it's wet snow, so you can actually make snowman, unlike here. We have cold hard snow. And it doesn't get as cold down there. 8. Panic-I'm saying goodbye to the beautiful matsu mountains Wich I adore. Pro- I'm saying hello to the ocean, Wich I am simply in love with. Maybe I can even get a look at some whales swimming by. Darn it! I've run out of material :) I'll keep everyone posted on my upcoming adventures. When was the last time you had a panic attack? Reasonable or not.

Goals?

My very good friend and fantastic author, Jolene Perry, just did a blog on goals and how they are constantly changing. Seemed like a great idea for a post since I've been drawing a blank since my debut. HA! DRAWING, So I started thinking about my goals...what are they, how many do I have, are they different from this time a week ago, a month ago...a year ago? OFCOURSE they are! My current goal is to wear my awesome heels I've had since December without getting snow in them! A bit shallow, I know. So let's take a crack at them: 1. Start running more...anything at this point would be more 2. Finish the awesome scrap quilt I've started out of designer fabric 3. Successfully move to valdez without a panic attack 4. Sell a painting, greeting card, doodle..anything really, so I can truly live in the happy category of paid artist 5. (and this one never changes) have a wonderful life full of happiness and love So what are your goals? Do they change? Are the shallow like my fantastic shoe goal or are they deep and well thought out? And when you have your list, let's say your lucky enouph to check something off....how does it feel? Sometimes I'm a little sad after checking off a goal, especially if it was a fun process. Like a painting that was delicious from the first moment the idea came to me. My imagination and brush working in complete harmony and the colors so rich and deep you want to lick them. h

Paid Artist or Not

Being an artist is the easy part. Being a paid artist is where it becomes difficult. I have yet to become one...or have I. One of my very best friends has a happy little Heather Hubb art corner in her kitchen. She says I can sell any of them at any time (and I wouldnt dare) except one. Sunflower Americana sits in her kitchen, above her cookbooks. The colors are perfect! It truly belongs there, almost like its been there since her house was built and not the year since I've painted it. Today she forced money on me....and yes forced is the correct word. So what am I complaining about. Technically I've acquired my goal. Here's the dilema: the painting was always hers and I never expected money. OFCOURSE I'm grateful and eager to step into the paid artist category but did I really earn it. Is it the same as a stranger coming across something I've done,after looking at all the amazing artist that inhabit this website and saying "I must have it!"? Or am I just being ridiculous? Probably. In truth I'm probably going to spend the money taking us to taco bell...several times.

Neurosis

My very good friend and talented author, Jolene Perry has decided to interview me on her blog. She kindly sent over the list of questions ahead of time so i could attempt to be witty and creative with my answers;) One of her questions was "what neurosis do you share with you fellow artist?" I have yet to come up with an answer. First of all, I hate to admit it, but i had to look up the word. I knew what it meant, but I wanted to make sure. I defiantly didn't want to give a confident well thought out answer and have it be completely and totally wrong...which is normally how i put my foot in my mouth. Second of all...I don't know any other artist so i don't know if i share anything other than the madness to doodle on everything or constantly keep my mind thinking of new ways to create. So tell me, fellow artist: What are your neurosis? Do we have any of them in common? Id like to think I'm extra quirky and eccentric...how society seems to picture artist. But I'm pretty sure I'm not. Im just an average mom, sitting in a coffee shop, chugging back coco....or am i?

Who's Up For An Adventure?

I love a good adventure. So right now I'm sitting in a hotel room in Valdez, Ak with my three kids. Our big thing to do today, watch phineas and ferb. How did this happen you might ask and what does this have to do with art? Ill get to that. My husband had to work and talked us into coming. "why not" I thouht. There was a hotel with a pool. He could work and we could swim. Win Win right. Nope. After a five hour drive with three kids who were promised a day of swimming fun, we arrive to find out the hotel is under construction. Why not just go to another hotel. Valdez is tiny and we were lucky to have one pool. So my adventure didn't really turn out they way i wanted, but its still an adventure none the less. 
Now for the artistic link: When your creating do you like to play it safe and totally prepare for whats coming or do you try new things and give it a shot and hope the gods of inspiration and cleverness will smile down upon you and make everything work? Or are the the kind of person you will study a new idea and technique till your sure it will happen just the way you want? Im the second kind. I dive right in and just go with it. If it doesn't work at least i will learn and try something different next time. Maybe next time i will call the hotel ahead of time and make sure there is water in the pool. 
My tie dyed trees are a great example. Ive seen a lot of pairings that have used dots. The idea caught my fancy right away. One day last week i just sat down and did it and I am pleasantly surprised with my finished result. An artistic adventure that did not disappoint. 
So how are you on adventure of any kind? Artistic and life. Are you a jump in kind or a plan every second kind?

Occupational Artist

So i have been a mom for over nine years. And unfortunately i don't get paid. Ive always hated the term home maker. What i really am is a chaos rangler, but that is never an option on insurance forms in the dentist office. Lately Ive been putting in artist. Im not really sure when i decided that should be my profession, but it is. Its what i love, other than my chaos. So why not make a career out of it. Why had i never thought of this before? I guess i thought i wasn't good enough, but i am. Probably not good enough for some collector to say "your unbelievably awesome, i want it all, name your price!" Then i can actually afford my obsession for jeans and nice shoes. But i am good enough to give it a real go and try for it. Kinda like this blog, I'm sure no one reads it and its okay. Its for me. In the middle of being the sherif in the crazy ranch that is my house, i truly enjoy things that are just for me. 
So after rambling a bit, my question for today is: How did you know that artist was your profession?

Victory Is Mine

I HAVE PIECES UP! its a miracle. anyone who happens to look at them and the prices for the notecards: if they seem off in anyway please let me know. I know i don't have the prints up for sale yet...that requires measurements. But i am very happy and have loads of new pieces to photograph. So just be patient with me a little longer. I am thrilled that i am one step closer to making this whole thing work for me. Trust me i used lots of colorful words when i was taking photos and struggling with photoshop. But the end result is well worth it.

Missed my Chance

We had two days of glorious sun! And I was too sick to care. Even now, I see blue sky's but they are on the wrong side of the house. And I'm still sick Wich equals I don't care. I'm sorry to say I have nothing interesting to add today. I'm just sick of being housebound and bored. Stuck in the house sounds like a perfect time to create, RIGHT? Wrong. It means I'd have to clean up the mess and I'm really not in the mood. Incase anyone was waiting for my debut and asking themselves what's taking this girl so long? The answer is: I'm keeping night quills profit margin nice and high Wich means my brain is nice and fuzzy:)

Look What I Did!!

Still no sun! bummer. But i was poking around on gelaskin.com and you can download your own artwork and make a phone cover. I CANT WAIT till it gets here. Ive made it from my favorite painting that i call tree in motion. I love how the branches and bark seem to move. What i love even more is the tree appears to be out of focus. It totally works and i didn't plan for it to be that way. I love that i can sit down and create something, not even really think about it and make it all work out. My sister in law is insistent that i take a few art classes. I haven't taken a class since my junior year in high school. trust me its been a while. My worry is, its just so easy, no thought, just joy and no stressing about technique or if i make a mistake. When i sit down to paint i am truly who i want to be. I am me, and thats all i want to be. 
Okay, that was totally rambling, but I'm at a friends house and with kids and what not, its kind of distracting. I have to admit i love blogging. Ive never done it before. And even though no one reads this, its rewarding for me. Heres to hoping for sunny skies.

Darn the Elusive Alaskan Sun

First off i want to thank Megan Duncanson and my bestie Jolene Perry (who is a fantastic author) and her wonderful friend for the wonderful photography tips. So what's the problem, why aren't my pics up? The sun! You should have natural light when doing this kind of thing. Sadly I don't have any. Even though we have lots of daylight right now, blue clear sky's are not around. OFCOURSE not, because I need them right now! Sigh 
So that was a fun complaint:) this time of year is especially hard for me. I find that I am inspired and do my best work when I am warm and can truly enjoy the outdoors. Does anyone else have this kind of problem? When their talent has highs and lows? Is there such a thing as painters block? If so, what do you do to beat it? I have my ideas, but I'm not feeling inspired to put them down. Maybe if I could actually get my photos in order I'd have a jump start. If only the grey sky's would part and grant my little house a few hours of blue sky's....from 10-3 would be great. Can someone get on that? ;)

Inspiration

Last night i couldn't sleep. It seemed like i rolled around for hours, which i did. In that time I thought about more things than i should and a lot that I shouldn't, because my mind wouldn't shut down. I hate that. In that horrible, agonizing 4 hours I tried to let my exhausted mind wonder to come up with a new idea. I failed of course. I want to know how people come up with their ideas. Do they start with a spark of a tiny minuscule idea, then twist, flatten, mold, beat down, build up and then repeat until its exactly what they want....or do they just wake up and automatically know what they are doing? I wish i was the second. Im the first. Normally its a phrase that has caught my interest. One of my favorite songs has a phrase about hiding their heart in a willow tree. I adore the imagery. thats wrong. ILOVEIT! I have several painting that I've created just from that. Another one (and the one that kept my mind running in circles from last night) is she dreams in colors, she dreams in reds. Can you name that song? I have to come up with something. Im stuck. I think ill wallow in my paint playlist, and ponder some more. How do you come up with your ideas?

Disappointment

So I have no art work shown. I'm trying hard. Sadly, I cannot seem to get photos of my art sharp or clear enouph. It is extremely frustrating and almost, ALMOST, makes me want to give up. But I won't. I can't. Eventually I will find that special someone that knows how to take photos and make them look like the real deal. So far, I have had three friends do the deed for me. I realize that this is just complaining that no one will ever read. Just makes me feel like im being somehow productive. 
So that is enouph of that. Does anyone have any tips for making your paintings pop out of a photo? I could use all the help i can get. Meanwhile, I will continue to paint and think outside the box. ;)