the problem with me....

Okay, so I don't really have one problem per say. Honestly I have loads of them. But lets try and focus on one for now.

Recently I took in all my new lovelies into Wasilla to a local boutique called Cherie's Closet. I was supposed to be the artist of the month for December. Being that I now live 6 hours from Wasilla, I had to take them in sooner than later. Six hour drive through snow, negative temps and crazy moose is not my idea of a fun road trip. So we get there and I'm informed that the owner will keep them up till January. .... for three months!! Amazing i know! (this is not the problem)

So far I've sold two!! Double amazing (still not the problem)

Cherie (the wonderful and amazing owner) called me the other day and wanted to know if I had any more stuff I could send down. (not really a problem) No i didn't have anything, but I could. Granted, after my two week painting marathon i was ready for a break. But if my stuff was in demand, I would gladly do more. Right?

Naturally, I'm a fast painter. I don't normally have patience to wait for the  paint to dry if I'm extremely inspired and feeling it. Plus, I'm a mom. Finding any time to do anything I want is limited. I felt extremely guilty about painting so much while i was trying to meet this deadline. My poor children. Many times they had paint spattered across their homework. Sorry kids :)  This still isn't "the" problem.

I began thinking of what to do next. My son has been bugging me to do something with the northern lights. I didn't want to because it was so" Alaskan artist".  Does that even make sense? I guess the word I'm looking for is "cliche". But i have an idea how to do it with this new style that I'm so crazy about. So whats the problem? Here it is. And its not a huge problem, as far as problems goes.  Just the one that currently has me trying not to break canvas.

I can see it in my head. I know how i want it to look and i know how to make it look that way. But its not working! And Ive used a very large tube of black paint to cover up my canvas....Ive covered it up about 4 times. Its driving me CRAZY! And of course if i took some art classes, it might solve my problem. But i don't  work that way.  I don't take art classes for the simple fact that i like to do things my own way and enjoy the process of just doing it. Its fun and relaxing. I love to put my paint playlist on and tune out everything except for the painting. I love the zen moment when i dont even think about it, and I create something amazing. There is no better feeling than stepping back from your painting and saying: "WoW, I did that!"

 So the stinking northern lights have me stumped. Its the kind of problem that has me awake at 4 a.m. going over the process in my head. What colors Id use first, the brush strokes, the patterns. Even the trees, I ponder over. And then I sit down and start. And after a few minutes im whipping out the balck paint and covering it up. So today, I purchased a XL jar of black paint. A girl has to be prepared, right?  I'm going to try it again. But this time try and slow down. One piece at a time, with a day in between... yeah right!  Lets see if that works.

Did i even explain a problem? Yes, I guess I did. I'm impatient and driving myself crazy with what I can do and what I don't do.... and i think what i should do. Hopefully in a few days, Ill have a new painting for you guys.

Until then, create something beatiful!